6 Ways to Beat Pageant Hangover

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Pageant week seems so far away

This week’s question comes from Mary in the UK, who just finished competing at Miss Universe Great Britain. She’s having a harder time than expected dealing with pageant hangover—if you haven’t been there yet, you will be one day (aren’t you glad you’re reading this positive article).

If you’ve ever felt lost, low, or just a little “off” after pageant week… you’re not crazy. You’re human. And what you’re experiencing isn’t weakness—it’s psychology.

Let’s break it down.

Why Pageant Hangover Happens

Pageants can be one of the most emotionally intense experiences of your life. You prep for months. You push your limits. You put yourself on display in sparkly dresses and high heels, surrounded by women who are smart, stunning, and just as ambitious as you are.

And then… it’s over.

No more rehearsals. No more group chats. No more validation. Just silence, laundry, and real life.

That crash? That empty feeling? That’s pageant hangover.

And here’s the kicker: it doesn’t just hit the girls who don’t win. It can hit the winner just as hard.

The Hidden Psychology of Pageant Addiction

I want to approach this through a coaching lens—specifically, through a framework called The Six Human Needs. It’s something I use often with clients and comes from the work of Tony Robbins.

It explains why we do what we do, and more importantly, why we feel what we feel after it’s done.

Here they are:

• Certainty: We all want to feel safe, comfortable, and in control.

• Uncertainty / Variety: We also crave surprise, excitement, and spontaneity.

• Significance: We want to feel important, seen, and valued.

• Connection / Love: We need to feel close to others—whether friends, family, or community.

• Growth: We want to feel like we’re evolving, learning, and improving.

• Contribution: We want to give back and make a difference.

And here’s the truth bomb: pageants meet all six of these needs—at extremely high levels.

Which is exactly why the post-pageant crash can be so intense. You go from a 10/10 in every category… to a 2 or 3, if that.

It’s not just disappointment. It’s withdrawal.

6 Ways to Beat Pageant Hangover

So what do we do? We find new ways to meet those same needs—outside the pageant stage.

Let’s walk through each need and how to meet it in your day-to-day life:

1. Certainty

Pageants give you structure: rehearsals, deadlines, a checklist. Afterward, everything feels fuzzy.

🛠️ Try this: Rebuild routine. Create a simple weekly rhythm—workouts, content creation, coffee dates. Add certainty back in on your own terms.

2. Variety

Pageant week is bursting with energy—new people, new outfits, surprises. Regular life? Not so much.

🛠️ Try this: Schedule variety. Take a dance class. Explore a new café. Say yes to something spontaneous. Don’t wait for magic—plan it.

3. Significance

Let’s be honest: stepping on stage and hearing applause is deeply validating.

🛠️ Try this: Find significance through service. Start a blog, give a talk, mentor a younger contestant. Get that same high—by lifting someone else.

4. Connection

You were surrounded by sister queens and built-in community. Now you’re home. Alone. Oof.

🛠️ Try this: Reconnect intentionally. FaceTime a pageant friend. Join a group. Call your grandma. Find small ways to feel seen again.

5. Growth

You learned how to walk, talk, pitch, and pivot under pressure. But now the challenge is gone.

🛠️ Try this: Learn something new. Take an online course. Read a book on leadership. Growth doesn’t stop when the crown goes back in the box.

6. Contribution

Your platform gave you purpose. Now it might feel like that purpose disappeared with the crown.

🛠️ Try this: Keep giving—title or not. Keep advocating. Keep creating. Contribution doesn’t need a sash. It just needs your heart.

Final Thoughts

Pageants can light up your life in incredible ways. But if they’re your only source of fulfillment, you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak.

Because here’s the deal:

If a pageant meets all six of your core human needs…
And your “normal life” meets none…
Then of course you’ll crash when it’s over.

So the key isn’t to stop loving pageants.
It’s to start loving your life outside of them just as much.

Make it your mission to create a life that gives you:
✅ Certainty
✅ Variety
✅ Significance
✅ Connection
✅ Growth
✅ Contribution

And do it in ways that are empowering, easy, and repeatable.

Then the next time you compete, it won’t be to feel whole.
It’ll be from a place of already being whole.

If you’ve been hit with pageant hangover, I hope this helped you feel a little more seen—and a lot more equipped.

Got a question for next week’s VIP episode? Message me on Substack, email, or socials. I read them all.

— Adrian

⏱️ Timestamps

• 00:00 – What is pageant hangover and who it affects

• 01:05 – Why it hits even when you win

• 02:10 – Traditional tips vs this week’s approach

• 03:15 – The 6 Human Needs explained

• 10:55 – How pageants meet all 6 needs (and why you crash after)

• 17:05 – If pageants meet all your needs, your “normal” life won’t feel enough

• 20:15 – How to meet those same needs outside of pageants

• 26:00 – Easy, empowering ways to add variety, significance & connection

• 31:47 – Final thoughts: You don’t need a crown to feel whole

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