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Most contestants don’t have a talent problem.
They have a coaching problem.
And they usually don’t realise it until they’ve already spent months, sometimes years, doing everything they were told…
Only to step on stage sounding exactly like everyone else.
This week, I broke down 7 red flags to watch for in a pageant coach.
This came off the back of a conversation I had with Ashley Gonor, where we went deep into what’s broken in pageant coaching and what actually needs to change.
If you want the full interview, you can watch it here:
👉 Watch the full interview with Ashley Gonor
But here’s the short version.
👀 The Pattern I Keep Seeing
A contestant comes to me and says:
“I feel like I sound too pageant.”
“I feel like I’m saying the same thing as everyone else.”
“I’ve been doing everything my coach said… and I’m not improving.”
And within minutes, it’s obvious why.
They’ve been taught:
The same opening lines
The same structure
The same “safe” answers
Different girl. Same script.
🚩 The 7 Red Flags
If you’re working with a coach right now, or thinking about hiring one, watch for these:
1. They rely on outdated credentials Coaches who trade on having won a state title “5,000 years ago” or being a “sponsored/official coach” without showing how their methods have evolved. The world changed dramatically even just since COVID — if their coaching hasn’t, that’s a problem.
2. They teach a formula that can’t possibly work The “do A and you win” model is logically flawed. If you teach 10 contestants the same formula, only one can win. A coach selling certainty of outcome is selling something they can’t deliver.
3. Their entire toolkit is “think positive and be yourself” That’s not coaching — that’s a bumper sticker. If a coach can’t go deeper than surface-level positivity, they’re not equipped to help a contestant at a meaningful level.
4. They bring their client down instead of elevating them When a contestant outgrows a coach or challenges them, a bad coach turns it around on the girl — calling her “too pushy” or “expecting too much” rather than acknowledging the fit isn’t right.
5. They answer for the contestant Your example of the mom coaching answers during a mock interview session is a version of this. Any coach who doesn’t protect the contestant’s voice and authentic expression is doing damage, not development.
6. They focus entirely on strategy and ignore mindset Walk technique, interview scripts, stage routines — these are strategy. A coach obsessed with strategy while ignoring state and story is only ever going to get 10–20% of the result they could.
7. They don’t know when to refer out or let go A good coach admits when they’re not the right fit. A red flag coach holds on to clients they can’t serve, or worse, holds them back.
🙈 The Uncomfortable Truth
A lot of contestants don’t need more coaching.
They need to unlearn what they’ve been taught.
Because if you’ve been trained to:
Follow the same structure
Use the same phrases
Deliver the same polished answers
You’re not being prepared to stand out.
You’re being prepared to blend in.
🎯 What Actually Matters
Not more scripts.
Not more memorisation.
What matters is:
Your state: how you show up under pressure
Your story: what you believe about yourself
Your strategy: yes, it matters, but it’s not the driver
If your coach isn’t working on all three, you’re leaving results on the table.
✅ A Better Question to Ask
Instead of asking:
“Is this a good coach?”
Ask:
“Is this making me more me… or more like everyone else?”
Because if you want to win, you don’t need to do what everyone else is doing.
You need to do what they’re not.
If you want the deeper breakdown, including the full conversation that sparked this, watch the interview with Ashley here:
👉 Watch the full interview with Ashley Gonor
Then take a hard look at who you’re learning from.
It matters more than you think.
Adrian.
I offer a limited number of private coaching sessions for contestants who are serious about taking home the crown. Find out more:
