Normally, I’d be using Thursdays to answer questions from our paid subscribers in our weekly Q&A video. But unless you’ve been living under a rock, you no doubt have heard or read about the assassination of conservative political influencer Charlie Kirk, as well as the brutal murder of young Ukrainian woman Iryna Zarutska on a light rail service in North Carolina.
By the way, if you haven’t been too active on social media in the last 48 hours, you may want to stay off it for a while, because the images and videos being passed around are horrific, haunting, and traumatizing. It’s ironic that Meta can lock me out of my own account but can’t seem to stop gruesome imagery like that from popping up in my feed.
The bottom line is I’m not in the headspace to create pageant content today. Instead, I’ve been wondering why those two murders have impacted me so deeply, along with many others in the pageant community.
Political inclinations aside, one thing I deeply admired about Charlie Kirk was his willingness to go into hostile environments to have constructive yet fiery debates about his political beliefs. That takes real courage. He was also a man of faith and a family man, leaving behind a wife (a former Miss Arizona USA) and two young children.
Iryna Zarutska, on the other hand, fled from Ukraine and was starting a new life with her mother in the U.S. She was on her way home from her shift at a pizza shop, traveling on a light rail and minding her own business, when the man behind her leapt up and attacked her, leaving her bleeding on the floor. That man had multiple previous criminal convictions and had been released back onto the street on cashless bail. The look on her face will haunt me for the rest of my life.
At this moment, I’m reminded of Cheslie Kryst’s death. For days afterward, the pageant community was awash with messages about the importance of mental health and being kind to others. However, it didn’t take long for many of those same people to start posting nasty comments on social media or gossiping behind other contestants’ backs.
We humans tend to have short memories.
No matter how horrific or traumatizing the situation, the question is ultimately the same: what are you going to do about it? It’s not about placing blame, it’s about being a leader and taking personal responsibility.
In pageant land, there are far too many people afraid of speaking out. Most of us live in societies that believe deeply in free speech, yet we fail to realize that free speech only matters when we’re dealing with those we disagree with. We’ve become such a divided and fractured society that it sometimes feels as if one half literally hates the other half.
This is not a future you or I want to live in.
We need, myself included, to get better at both having the courage of our convictions and holding space for those who disagree with us. We need to be curious about other people’s beliefs, not demonize them.
And above all, we need to remember that time is a gift, and we never know when ours will be up. It’s at times such as these I’m glad I believe in the afterlife, one where we’ll be reunited with our loved ones.
Let’s do better. Let’s seek similarities rather than differences. Let’s humanize, not demonize.
