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What First Got Me Interested in Pageants?

And what was the first pageant I ever attended?

Each week, I answer questions from our paid subscribers. Join to get your questions featured, unlock priority DMs through the Substack app, and get tailored help from me—all for a fraction of the cost of private coaching.


Supposed to be me, but I dunno…

This week’s question comes from Miss South Carolina Volunteer Madi Coffman—although by the time you read or watch this, she may well be the former Miss South Carolina Volunteer as the finals of that pageant take place on the 26th of July (which just so happens to be my birthday as well).

Anyway, Madi wanted to know what first got me interested in pageants, and what the first pageant I ever attended was. I asked her whether she wanted the long or short version, and she said long—so Madi this one is on you.

This week’s question comes from Miss South Carolina Volunteer Madi Coffman—although by the time you read or watch this, she may well be the former Miss South Carolina Volunteer as the finals of that pageant take place on the 26th of July (which just so happens to be my birthday as well).

Anyway, Madi wanted to know what first got me interested in pageants, and what the first pageant I ever attended was. I asked her whether she wanted the long or short version, and she said long—so Madi this one is on you.

Truth be told, I never set out to be involved in the pageant world. I wasn’t born into it, didn’t have sisters or daughters competing, and couldn’t have told you the difference between Miss Universe and Miss World if you’d asked me ten years ago. My journey began in a completely different arena: tennis courts.

Another lifetime

I was working as a tennis coach at an all-girls high school here in Australia. Coaching was never just about the forehands and backhands for me—I was more interested in the person holding the racquet. At that age—14 to 18 or so—young women are going through some of the most intense, confusing, and formative years of their life. Relationships shift, identity forms, confidence wavers. It was never just about the sport. It was about helping them navigate all of it.

I remember one particular moment that stayed with me. One of the girls in my squad had parallel cuts on her forearms. At that stage, self-harm and mental health weren’t openly talked about. My boss quietly let me know to keep an eye on her—not to treat her differently, but just to be aware. That moment rocked me. I started thinking: what else is going on in these girls’ lives that we’re not talking about? How do we create more support? More inspiration? Less pressure and more purpose?

I’m a problem solver at heart, but I like solving root causes, not just slapping a motivational quote over a deep issue. So I asked myself: what could I do to help young women struggling with confidence, comparison, and self-worth?

I’ve always loved long-form interviews. The kind where the interviewer actually listens. The kind where the person being interviewed forgets the camera is on and just shares their story. I thought, what if I interviewed inspiring women and shared their stories? What if that could be a form of mentorship for young women who didn’t have someone like that in their life? Maybe if they saw someone else go through something similar, they’d feel less alone.

And so I started. One of the very first women I interviewed was someone I found completely by accident on Instagram. Her name was Tasha. I remember looking briefly at her profile and thinking, she seems interesting. We set up an interview and during that conversation, I found out she was involved in pageantry. Miss Tourism World Australia or something to that effect. (I quickly learned there are a lot of pageants and they all seem to have similar names.)

Where it all started

That was my first proper exposure to the pageant world. I knew absolutely nothing. I didn’t know you weren’t allowed to swear. One of my questions back then was, “What’s your favourite curse word?” She politely declined to answer. Lesson learned.

Tasha was hosting a fundraiser soon after our interview, so I decided to go. Not because I was interested in the pageant system she was in, but because I'd been impressed by her. She was intelligent, articulate, glamorous—all the things I thought young women might look up to. I went, had a good time, met some other titleholders, and next thing I knew, they were asking to be interviewed too. One interview led to two, then four, then more.

The first proper pageant I attended was Miss Galaxy Australia. That was a wild introduction. Miss Galaxy is interesting in that it has a small presence in the U.S., but its international arms in places like Australia and the UK are surprisingly strong. That pageant introduced me to the idea that this was a whole world—one that I didn’t understand yet, but wanted to.

Fast forward a few years, and I began interviewing contestants from the UK. Then the U.S. I noticed something: the American girls interviewed on a different level. Their poise, their professionalism—they were media-trained from a young age, and it showed. It wasn’t just rehearsed answers, it was thoughtfulness, clarity, charisma. You could tell that pageantry was woven into the culture there in a way it just wasn’t back home.

That’s when my curiosity really kicked in. Why were they better? What were they doing differently? I wanted to find out. And more than that, I wanted to share their stories.

As Madi will know, I recently travelled to Tennessee for Miss Volunteer America, and it felt like coming full circle. After years of interviews, doubts, and even a bit of jadedness, I was reminded why I started. The caliber of women, the production value, the way each contestant was given their moment—it made me believe in pageantry again. Not just as a competition, but as a vehicle for growth, for storytelling, for transformation.

Ready to go back now

So Madi, that’s how I got into pageants. By accident, by curiosity, by caring about the welfare of young women and wanting to give them a platform.

For me it was never about the crowns. It was always about the girls wearing them.


Timestamps

  • 00:00 – Intro & shoutout to Madi Coffman

  • 02:15 – Coaching young women: where the real story begins

  • 05:14 – The interview that accidentally introduced me to pageantry

  • 08:04 – My first proper pageant: Miss Galaxy Australia

  • 10:21 – Why American pageant culture caught my attention

  • 12:18 – Miss Volunteer America & rediscovering my why

  • 14:11 – Full circle: it was never about the crowns


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